Divine Alignment

For the last 24 hours I’ve been celebrating my birthday my birthday. Happy New Year to me!  I enter a new chapter of my life with joy, enthusiasm, gratitude, and excitement.

About ten years ago I began giving a theme to each new year, birthday to birthday. There’s been the Year of Quickening, the Year of Reckoning, the Year of Transformation, and so on. A few weeks before my new year actually begins, I sit in stillness, take walks and listen for the name. It always comes.

This year the theme is Alignment. In the last year and a half, my life has changed significantly:

  • I started a new relationship
  • moved to a new city
  • went from full-time employment to unemployed/self-employed
  • came to some new understandings about myself, or more precisely, simply cycled back to remembering things I’ve known all along

From the time I can remember I’ve always had a strong sense of purpose, though I couldn’t quite say what exactly it was. The strength of that purpose compelled me and for much of my life – all of it really, until now – I made decisions about what to do or what not to do (become a teacher, get a PhD, etc.) according to intuitions that told me if I would end up closer to or further away from my purpose.

As 2012 came to a close, I realized that I’d spent the year getting comfortable with the new and first-time clarity about what I am here to do, getting comfortable with the possibility of answering yes or no to the question “am I doing what I’m here to do?” And 2012 I experienced what I call “divine alignment”. As I experienced the joy of feeling as if at any given moment I was in exactly the place I was meant to be a set of check and questions came to me,  guideposts by which to consider the day, the week, the month, the lifetime:

  • Am I in divine alignment?
  • If not, why not? What does my resistance look like?
  • If so, what does my surrender look like? What would the next level of surrender it look like?

In late 2011, I decided to move to Philly for love. I prayed about it and felt this decision was definitely in alignment. I was going to save money, move in the warm months – you know, do it prudently,  safely. In November I had a dream which showed me that my careful plan was nonsense, that by going in what I thought was a straight line I would actually be going in a circle. No, I needed to move by the end of December – in six weeks, not six months. By making the decision to move I had been in alignment but more was required. My resistance looked like “but…” And “I don’t…”  and waiting to get the ball in motion to actually move that quickly. Nonetheless, I leapt. I surrendered. Allah handled everything that could have been an obstacle. I was in Philly by December 28th.

Fear and bewilderment had me phasing in and out of alignment in 2012, or at least had me feeling as though I was phasing in and  out of it.  in 2013, I intend to be courageous. What’s the point if I’m not? I’ve been waiting my whole life to know what I now know about my particular purpose. So what does every day look like an alignment? Inshallah I’m looking forward to finding out.  Happy New Year indeed!

As the year gets rolling I invite you to consider these checking questions for yourself.

  • What does divine alignment look like in your own life? Are you in it?
  • If not why not? What does your resistance look like?
  • If you are in alignment, what does your surrender look like? What would the next level of surrender look like?

Wishing all of us courage as we each seek to fulfill our unique and divine purposes! Let’s love one another in the process. Ashe. Salaam. Shalom. Inshallah, inshallah, inshallah.


Be easy, babe.

I have to be honest, it’s been hard for me to get back on the COM horse… but I’m here and doing it.

be easy with yourself Waz.

I have to be honest, I usually over promise and at every cost, I do my best to deliver.
I often don’t deliver the way I want to and I hate myself for it.

So, my intention for my 30th year is to be easy with myself.

It’s harder to do than expected:
my muscle to say no is weak.
everyone else around me seems so effective and able to balance their life and here I am,

finding myself making lists on post-its that lose their sticky and lost at the bottom on my bag
and the ink of my arm runs.

I want to please everyone around me. SO MUCH.
and I please no one, especially not me.

and so I am taking on the inner monologue of

be easy with yourself, Wazina.

My ex-girlfriend’s response to my stressing about all the things on my plate was usually something along the lines of:
Well, all I have to do is stay white and die.

This insensitive line always struck me.
I mean, yes, she, I, we – anyone! – could just do the bare minimum in life and then well, die.
Could I just stay Afghan and die?

to be me in this world
to be us in this world
queer + muslim (+ woman!)
staying alive is success
and there are so many more successes i don’t give myself credit for.
I will be successful
I am successful
I don’t have to deliver anything

I create

I manifest

This post doesn’t make too much sense… but whatevs.

be easy, babe,Waz